you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
