I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
