you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
