how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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