I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
