Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
