You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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