her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
There are leaves in my underwear?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
