So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
