go do what you do best...puke behind churches
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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