I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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