I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
There's even glitter on my cock...
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