Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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