Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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