I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
