Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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