Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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