Can i not drive my cunt home
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
