That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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