Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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