oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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