I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
