Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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