Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Randomize
