And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
