And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
