How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
