my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
