just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
The convent might be a nice break from real life
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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