you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
