Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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