god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
My vagina just clenched in fear
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize