omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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