bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
