Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
no you cant smoke seaweed
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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