How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize