He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
