So drunk its hurt
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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