WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
