Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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