I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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