Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
