Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
she peed on how many people?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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