Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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