oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
