No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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