I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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