That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
