What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
