Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Drunk walkin through police station. America
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
