If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
