I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize