Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize