Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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