You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
