Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
