Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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